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Woman bloggers find ways to deal with unflattering comments on their posts even as cyber harassment cases rise every day all over India A Tequila hangover, meeting with an ex, first experience with oral sex and talking about heartbreak or matters that are close to heart — such as child molestation, domestic violence and sex discrimination at the workplace, travel and films… The topics are sometimes personal, sometimes cause- oriented, but it’s on the Internet and for everyone to read. It’s definitely true that women like pouring their hearts out on most things that matter to them, and blogs — since it became a popular platform to address your worries, exchange views and opinions — have been the best platform to speak out or seek like- minded people as friends. But like most good things, blogging comes with its limitations, and a chunk of women bloggers have to deal with people who brand them as “ sluts”, “ fast”, or people who crowd their comment boxes with lewd messages and sharp reactions that often turn abusive. To some men the topics touched upon by these women seem “ un- Indian”, to others the posts simply aren’t to their liking. Either to disagree or just to harass women, the ‘ anonymity’ card is being used effectively by these ‘ trollers’ ( an internet slang to describe someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off- topic messages in an online community) who are looking for voyeuristic pleasure out of this new media. Author of the book You Are Here , Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan, also an avid blogger who writes about her life on The Compulsive Confessor, says “ Some men commented on my posts saying that my partying ways were not in tune with Indian culture and that I should be ashamed of myself because I was writing about my personal life.” If there’s anything that is a boon about this new medium, it’s the fact that you can choose the topics you want to write, talk and read about and ignore the rest. But the virtual world too, just like the real world, is filled with people trying to play spoilsport. “ Bloggers who write about their personal lives are generally seen as frivolous, whether men or women. Given that there are more women personal bloggers than male bloggers ( as a random search of Indiblogger. in, an Indian blog portal, tells you), women tend to get the rough end of the stick more than men do most of the times,” says Jhoomur Bose, an avid blogger who writes on and a freelance writer, who has been at the receiving end of this virtual tirade against women. “ Someone after reading one of my posts said he wished I was raped,” she says. “ That was one time that I really lost my cool.” Priyanka Sachar, a blogger and project manager at a software firm, says she wouldn’t like to think that dealing with trollers is a gender- specific issue, but she does agree that getting away with ‘ anonymous’ tags does make it a little easier for men to leave nasty comments that they would probably reserve to themselves if an argument was to take place faceto- face. “ But there are ways to deal with unwarranted comments,” says Sachar, who’s also one of the brains behind Delhi Blogger’s Bloc, a community that brings together bloggers of this city. “ These days there are ways to trace IP addresses even if you write ‘ anonymously’. Technically too, there is the option of moderation,” she says. Ajay Jain, president of the Delhi Bloggers and New Media Society, says, “ Women are seen as soft targets, just like in real life, and are attacked more viciously on the Net. People think they can get away with anonymity. But these days, cyber laws are slowly getting tougher. And you do have an option of ‘ moderating’ (( a method which helps you choose the comments you have received on a given post to be published and ignore the ones you don’t want),” he says. T HE FIRST thing to know about blogging is to know that people who do not agree with what you are writing are also going to read your post. To some extent it makes sense to expect a backlash if the post is sensitive or opinionated because you have a very wide audience, and you cannot sieve through unwanted characters to reach the ones you seek. But anonymity is not always a bad thing. Sakshi Juneja, who runs works in a sportswear manufacturing firm, and voices her views on her blog, To Each Its Own, says, “ Anonymity isn’t always bad. I agree there are people who misuse it, but there are others who have benefitted from it,” she says. “ I know people who have had the courage to talk about issues, such as dealing with homosexuality, only because their identities could not be known. To them, blogging has been a very effective tool to voice their opinions.” But she also agrees that the flipside of anonymity also poses problems. Her opinions on women’s issues have also drawn the wrath of men who have abused her and made sure she was bombarded with comments that were abusive. “ Some people find it difficult to express a balanced approach to a topic. A few men who did not agree with my opinion on a post thought I was randomly bashing the whole of mankind and reacted violently,” says Juneja. Another Mumbai- based blogger and photographer, Ramya who has a blog called Ideasmith, says she knew someone who’s a lesbian and was writing under a pseudonym, but she had to go underground when someone who knew her real identity exposed her. “ I have had men telling me that my blog is doing well because I’m a woman,” she says. On a blog camp this January, Ramya spoke about this problem. Her topic was “ Anonymity is a game of identity”. She did find a lot of women who faced similar problems and were looking for solutions or ways to deal with such negative emotions. But the most interesting part was when someone who attended the meet later started sending nasty comments on her post. He called me a ‘ feminist’ and a ‘ man- hater’. I can’t change that. But it’s immature to say the least,” says Ramya. Melody Laila, another blogger, who writes on travel and other issues close to her heart in www. thevoiceinmyhead. com, says that the factor of anonymity does make people a little more audacious about their opinions. “ There’s less censoring of the comments on the Net because there is no face- to- face confrontation here,” she says. The best way of dealing with unchartered comments is to ignore them and move on. Juneja thinks that women also tend to react to comments more than men. “ They take it more personally. At times people react sharply on popular blogs just to draw attention to their own blogs. The right approach would be to just ignore them and move on to your next post. The message will be clear to whoever is reacting to your post. Giving him too much attention will actually draw people to their post,” she says. B OSE SAYS, “ I choose to ignore nasty comments most of the time. There’s no point getting hassled about them; the whole world will neither agree with you nor like what you write. Unless you develop a thick skin it’ll be always difficult to deal with such people.” However, Sonal Mattoo, lawyer and founder of Helping Hands, NGO specialising in advocacy case of sexual harassment, urges women not to ignore comments that are too nasty and personal. “ Cybercrime cases have risen manifold in the past two years. But not enough people come forward with complains. The perpetrators must repent their actions and cyber cops are also very strict these days. It’s possible to trace people through addresses. Every Internet café follows rules strictly and people can be arrested for harassment if the case is strong,” she says. But till then there’s no need worry about every small comments that are personal in nature. Like Bose puts it, “ Given that these commentators are neither paying my Internet bill nor placing ads my blog, I shrug and move on.” haimanti. mukherjee@ mailtoday.in |